What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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Cancer.

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

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Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

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Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

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whats brown? poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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