What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

you know what hurts.... PAIN

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

thumb_up thumb_down +48

knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a black priest? Religious.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +42

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

nice shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops