On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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Frown is a four letter word.

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Whats another word for Thesaurus?

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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ugh good riddance

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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