Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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