What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

women leaving the kitchen

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

A horse walks into a glue factory..

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

A man walks into a bar.

Mitt Romney for president.

What's white and sticky? Glue

is mayonnaise an instrument?

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Whats9+10 19

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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