What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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42.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops