what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

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whats sad about a jew in a gas tank? nothing.

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Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

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if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

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After six days in prison, and the eight hours in court straight they finally randomly decided that I "acted in self defense" which I did, so I demanded recompensation for they locking me up and wasting my time... ...And hell if I did not get 12.000USD for it, not before they called me disrespectful and immoral, before I shut them the fuck up... ...""Earning" your respect wont pay my bills, while I am apparently the only one with balls here, what else can you say when you everybody else shuts the fuck up and sits down because the "alpha male" of your pack, yes you a grotesquely fat ass in a black dress and a gray womans wig smacks his little hammer on his desk... Judge my ass" Speaking of morals... "It is called sacrasm furfags" Nero: Did I mention that her boyfriend broke four fingers on his hand against my chest (supposedly it was a punch of some sort), then he countered my attack(?), as he skillfuly blocked both kicks with his face, as he fell down cried and pissed himself like the 52 year old "adult" he is? Then I broke both his knees with my heels and told him I would kill him too if he told the cops that I did so in self defense... In self defense of course... Drugs told my mother I was Satan, and that I would end up killing her the very day I was born... Little did I know back then, that whatever kind of angel dust she used then was right about me killing her... Now its her turn to climb up from the hell she sent me trough, except that I locked the gate at the end. I miss my real arm though, which she chopped right off me when I was six and offered it to God as tribute, then proceeded to beat the shit out of me with it it... That kinda felt nice compared to waterboarding and all the other shit she did to me, as for my father... Tried to break my neck because I was at my room studying when he caught me scratching my prosphetic arm which was a sin apparently, yes reader I literally killed my father too and you dont hear me whining about it. Nero: I had a custom prosphetic arm made, it wont pick up or hold shit, you can in fact crush your own fathers skull with a fist literally made of steel, even if you still cant believe its not real butter. Solvemedia: Politically correct, thumbs the fucks ups for the irony... Or the steel which I used in pure fear as my neck snapped and my legs went numb... Just a literal pain in the neck for the rest of my life though, and a nice memory...

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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Why didn't the black man have a job? He was only in first grade.

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NEVER

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What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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Lebron Traveled

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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Bumsniffer

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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What happens when Batman Robin and Wonder woman go on a date? Somebody isn't getting laid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops