Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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