Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

the joke below me is not an anti joke

Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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