There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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