Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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Satan called. I put him on hold.

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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