Knock Knock Come in.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

KIMBERLEY HONEY

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

dildo

France never surrender.

What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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