What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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I love you.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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black

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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anti-joke teehee

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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