Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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What is black and looks like a person A black person

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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. . I am a whale

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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