what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Q. whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A. A jew is a human of the jewish religion, and a pizza is food.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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