1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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Shea's sty....

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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You know what's a joke? Something Funny

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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