Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

4 hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

thumb_up thumb_down +2

it's easy to take part, just type your text below!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops