Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +28

"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops