What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops