A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

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whats funnier than 24? 25

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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Why Was 6 Afraid of 7? Because 7 was a Pedophile

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Will nearis is here! Get it

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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a. why? b. because

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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womens rights

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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