Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

in soviet russia, cow milks you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops