Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Want to hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the boy die? because he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One below was by me: Walter H

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops