Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

The WNBA

What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

What do you call a rich black man? A auntrapanour who simply enjoys making more money than any average person

Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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