a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

thumb_up thumb_down +10

sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

do you no what im doing? writing this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

thumb_up thumb_down +10

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops