How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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Girls soccer

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what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

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sharks

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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