If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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oooh look a banshee

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Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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