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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

You

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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