what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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I died shortly after writing this.

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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Get off my porch.

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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24

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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