How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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I just found out i have cancer.

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guess what chicken butt

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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Jake. Walsh.

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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What happened to Liam? He Died.

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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