Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Moooo

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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heads up!

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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