How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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