How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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