Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -62

A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -122

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops