A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Penis

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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Are you Drew?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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