Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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2 + 2 = fish

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What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

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A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

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Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

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2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

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Why is it sad that a black guy died in a car crash He was my friend

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops