What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Feminism.

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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