Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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