knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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This is not a joke.

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Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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