I'm tired.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

thumb_up thumb_down

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down

I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

thumb_up thumb_down

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down

How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down

Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

thumb_up thumb_down

nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

thumb_up thumb_down

"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

thumb_up thumb_down

A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why so serious? Your brother died.

thumb_up thumb_down

dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

thumb_up thumb_down

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops