Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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Men

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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hi

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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