Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

69

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -17

ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops