"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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civil rights

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why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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