A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

why did matt die? He had cancer

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

Nig gers Jews Bean ers and fa ggots and everyones grandma that died recently, F u c k you there all burning in Hell.

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

Q: What is black, white and red all over? A: Interracial sex during the time which the bible has decreed as abhoration.

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...