Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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