What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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How come grilled cheese?

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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10inch nice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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