- Anti Joke

What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

YEAH THEY DO!

Q: What's funnier than Women's Rights? A: Nothing.

What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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