What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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You suck big fat slobber

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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