Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

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CRY

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A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Steven and Daniel are playing with super soakers in the back yard. Steven says to Daniel: "You can't squirt me!" Daniel says to Steven: "Yes I can!" Daniel is HIV positive.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops