I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Koalas mum is a slut

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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What is 2 + 2? 3 LOL

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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How can you tell if someone's a Vegan? It will probably come up in conversation, usually during the planning phase of a trip to a restaurant.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And so is she.

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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mark lawson likes boys

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what's gay as AIDS? The way you got it

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops