do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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